Saving My Life

Just about my whole life my weight has been up and down. When I was little no one told me I needed to be active and I needed to eat right. When I was about 11 or 12 my doctor told me I had to lose weight,  I was 170Lbs, I was way too big.  I lost weight with no problem and then when I went back to school, a teacher walked up to me and said, I had to be making myself throw up. (I wasn't) That summer before school started back up, I would walk everyday,  workout with my best friend at the time. We would walk from North Avenue, to Downtown Baltimore.  My Sister Mary had me walking with her all summer long and I was eating better.  No one made me do this, I understood what I needed to do and why. But once that teacher said that to me, I just felt like if I was too big, I would be talked about and once I lost the weight I was being talked about. Once i seen that no matter my size, people are going to find something to say about me... At that point I seen the change in myself, I wasn't walking as much or eatting the way, I should have been. I  was still able to get down to 145-150lbs and was able to keep it at that place until my 10th grade year of high school.  Some much started happening my 10th grade year.  I got put into a new school, my home life wasn't the best and I was getting out of a unhealthy relationship ( story for another day).  So the stress really started hitting home. I become a emotional eater. When I was sad, bored, or stressed, I would eat. By the time I was out of high school food became my best friend. I became okay with being unhealthy, and sad. I just would act like everything was okay. I would smile and help everyone else with their problems,  and push mine to the back. Now at 24 I am at my  heaviest weight.  And because of it I have some health issues.  (All that can be changed if I get the weight off.) I have to save my life, but I thank God for my husband who love's me no matter what size I am,  but still works out with me and eat's health with me. He takes all the same steps I am taking.. My mother-in law and aunt-in law who invited me to workout with them in the morning.  And help to push me. I have only been working out for about a month or so but I have been seeing change.  And now I have been working on my triggers.  And not letting food take over my life. It is hard! But I have to stand by my change of mind.