Why Cheat?

The world age question is why cheat? Men and women both cheat at some point. Some of them cheat because they are getting pay back, and others my do it because they are unhappy. But for most its just that,that's what they wanted to do.

Now don't think, I am saying that all men and women cheat because they don't. So my question is "Why cheat?" I went around and asked some people the question.

 

I started off with the older men and women at my husbands job. The first hand full of people i asked was 5 men 60-80 years old.

Have you ever cheated?

4 of them answered : Yes. The one man that said no told me he had been with his wife, for over 30 years. And they had gotten married right out of high school and he would find new things about her to fall in love with. So by doing that, he never felt the need to cheat on his wife.

So I go on to ask the 4 men that said yes, my next question.

Why did you cheat?

one guy said he was 100% unhappy in the relationship he was in at the time he cheated. But he couldn't walk away from her, because they had just had a baby. The other men didn't seem to have a real reason, to why they cheated. All three of them said it just happened.

So I took my questions over to 5 women that seemed to have already been talking about what I was there for.

Have you ever cheated?

And what happened next my me a laugh. All 5 of them said "Yes". One of them was really open with me, to why she cheated. Here is the short story. When she was 20 years old she had gotten married to a friend of the family. After two years and a baby,she started to see a change in him. He would come home late and sometimes not at all. She deal with that for a long time, until one day it come out he had been cheating on from day one. Once she was given that information, she went to talk to her mom about it,and her mother's reply was.. "Well baby your father cheated on me, for the first 5year of our marriage." She went on to tell me, that back in her and her mother's day, they didn't believe in walking away from your husband and your family. Getting a divorce back wasn't even something married people talked about, and if someone did get one.. The woman and he kids (if she had any) would be talked about. She said " that after that talk with her mom, she didn't want to be looked at as a outcast. One day when she was 25 she started a new job and it was a man there that would flirt and complement her all of the time. Cutting right to it, she started sleeping with that man. 3 years she did this, going back and forward from hotel to hotel, in and out of his home and sometimes at work. And the only thing that made her stop was, he wanted to be with her full on. He wanted for her to divorce her husband and take the kids and be with him. She told me, she just couldn't do that. She loved her husband and didn't want a divorce, she just wanted to feel loved and cared for without the string being added.

After that I said "Thank you", to everyone one and moved on to some other people.

For two more days I asked people the same questions and for the people who said yes to my question, the reason for doing it was, he/she cheated on me or I wasn't getting what I needed at home or just I don't know.. Things happen. I also asked "Why stay?" and believe it or not a lot of people answered the same way. I wanted to work on my family, I love him/her, that other person didn't mean anything to me.

 

So here is how I fell about it all. Just because you have a child with a person doesn't mean, they have the right to treat you wrong. People will only treat you the way you let them. You can't let someone walk all over you time and time and time again . If you're unhappy or not getting what you need from home, you can (A. Talk to the person you are in a relationship with, let them know how you're feeling. Put it out there for them, so you both can work on it and try to make things better. Or (B. Walk Away! No one is putting a gun to your head and making you stay. It's always a way out. When you cheat you take away the other persons choice on if they want to stay or go, or even if they want to change or not. You take away the choice when you do it and then never come clean about it or you wait until it's to late and they have to know. And for the ones who just can't seem to be faithful and know this to be true for themselves, just don't get into a relationship until you work on yourself first.

So over all if you're not happy, not getting what you need/ want or just flat out can't be faithful. Don't cheat ... Just walk away!

 

Think before you cheat.

 

Who Needs A Degree When You School'n Life. 

Too Many Engagements

To have one person pop the big question is a great thing and if that doesn't work to have another chance at it, makes you lucky. But what happens when you have been engaged too many times to, too many people? 

When you have been lucky enough to find the man or women of dreams, and can take it to the next stage of life (marriage) that is one of the best things in life. But having too many dream men or women could be a problem. Like being engaged more than 5 times in a life time but never making it down the aisle or what about 5 times in 3 year or in one. Yes people it is men and women out here, that have been engaged 5 or more times in one year to 5 or more people. At some point you have to stop! And try to get down to the problem of why you can't seal the deal.

I know a lady, let's call her Ms. No Commitment.. She will be 45 next year and she have been engaged way too many times. But let just talk about the years of 2012-2013. She has been engaged 4 times, well 5 if we are going to count the engagement she is in now.
When she first told me, she was getting married it was in late April of 2012. She seemed to be so happy, she was with her boyfriend for about 3years and he had asked her to marry him over dinner. After 2 months she called me and said the wedding was off, I all felt so bad and wanted to make her feel better but she said she was "okay". A month passes by and out the blue I see her downtown as I was shopping, she stops me and shows me her left hand.. BAM an engagement ring. I say ' congratulations ' and say I am happy you and your boyfriend worked it out.... Well I was 100% wrong. She looks at me and says. " I am not back with him!, he isn't even worth my time."  So now I feel dumb. Ms. No Commitment goes on to tell me, she has gotten with a new man that she met 2 weeks after she called off her first engagement.  Now I think this way too fast and that she maybe crazy but, I again say congratulations and then walk away.
So it is now September and I get a phone call and it's Ms. No Commitment on the other end of my phone, asking how I was and so on. I tell her and then she says to me " can you plan my wedding?" I tell her "yes" and go on to ask about the lucky man she is marrying. She tell me about him, and tells me how happy she is. It felt good to know someone can be hurt and jump right back into the game. As she talks to me about all of her ideas, I don't know made me ask but I found myself saying " Is this the same guy you told me about the last time, I seen you?"  She stopped for a minute..... And then goes "Oh No! Girl me and him didn't make it" O_o Here I am again lost, to how in the hell she keeps ending up engaged so fast, and with new men at that.
Long story short this happens 2 more time before February of 2013. So it is now May and she is engaged again! With a younger man and she says it's going to work this time..

Now when I tell this story people think it's no way.. She had to be telling a lie or just looking for someone to pay her some mind. No lie I thought the same thing, until I added her on Facebook and she invited me to see some private photos she had hidden, of her and her many fiancés.
Ms. No Commitment is one of many people in the world who just can't seem to get right, and she believes that it's the men she meets and feels she does nothing wrong.

So I guess I answered my own question, yes you can be engaged too many times..


Who Needs A Degree When I'm School'n Life.

This Time

I have spent my life trying to make sure that, I keep the people around me happy.. Now that I am married and working on having kids, I can no longer work for them.
I have to take the time from others to make sure me and mine are okay. I see that a lot of people don't seem to understand that my life line up has changed, it's God and then my husband and me. And when you have people around who can't get that, it makes it that much harder to tell them no. I have to make, or better I say take away time from something to give it away to something else, and that is what I feel I fail at.. poor timing.

I have been told some crazy stuff, and most of it was about how to be a wife. Something I feel you can not tell. Being a wife or mother is all in the eye of the beholder. What I feel and what you feel, about it, will not be the same. (I.E. the way we love or care). Some women have told me that, they just do what they want, with no thought about how that could hurt the man in her life. Some others have gone and cut off all life from others. But with me I would like to think, I have a happy place. I respect for my husband, so I will not do any life changing thing's without talking it over with him first. This man is my King and I am his Queen and we treat each other as such. But I also make time to be me. I find things to better myself, like going to school or learning to drive, or just being around my friends.

So this time around, I will make people understand, that life isn't what it use to be for me, I have some else to think of. That I can no loger, stop everything to make sure they have what it is they want from me. This time I have to make sure my timing is just right, so that I can make things better. I am happy and I would love for everyone to see that, this time it's not about them, but it's about me.

He Is Just Not that Into You

Okay ladies I felt like I needed to have have a talk with you woman to woman. It makes me so sad to see the women of the world being played out. Not knowing when to walk away from a man who isn't doing anything but bring you down...

We all play the fool and some of us pay for it at the end of the day, some my not be about to trust anymore and some of us end up giving up everything for a man who gives up nothing at all.  So I talked to some friends and come up with some ways to tell 'HE JUST ISN'T THAT INTO YOU'.

 One way to tell he just isn't into you is (He never calls or text you first) a man who wan't to get to know you will take the time to call or text you at some time in the day, without you having to make the first move. Now I am not saying you get out here and act as if your too good to call or text him because it goes both ways.... but what i am saying is if you are the one who ALWAYS calls or sends the first text, he may not be that into you.

He talks to you about other women he is dating. From what I have seen in life that means a few things, he could be really open and doesn't want to string you along, he is a tool and feels like you should be okay with whatever he puts out there or you have been put in the FRIENDZONE. Now just in case you don't get it, all of this means, he isn't into you. A man you like or are dating should be open with you from the start that he isn't looking for a relationship, but he should never tell you about how good or bad he date was last night or how good or bad the next woman was in bed. If he was into you even after telling you he doesn't want a relationship, he would go out of his way to make you feel as if you were the only girl... and the more you both got to know each other sooner or later you would be.

You never meet the best friend. Meeting the best friend is like the first step to meeting the family. Most people feel like if my best friend likes you than your a keeper, but if you hear about the best friend but never get to meet the best friend, even after months of dating, it is a reason you havn't.  It could be that he feels like your not the one or even close to being the one. My bother told me within the first 6 month's to a year most men know if he is going to marry us, he also said within the 2 -4 months he knows if he is going to take you home to meet the family. Now i don't know how true this is but if it is and you  have been with your guy for over 4 months and you have not met his family or best friend it maybe time to see where you stand in his life.


If he can't answer anything about you. If you bring him around any of your friends and they start to ask about you and he has no idea what they are talking about, he really isn't into you. Some who cares will take the time to learn thing's about you and get a really good feel for who you are as a person. So let say you have told your boyfriend over 5 times your brithday and still forgets or you tell you you love the color red. but yet he can't seem to get it right. All of that shows he doen't care like you think he does.


It is so much more I could say about this but i believe you get it now. So next time know when it's time to walk away from someone who doesn't feel like you are wroth giving up everything.


Who Needs A Dergee When I'm School'n Life

Married Life

I got married August 18,2012 and it was the best day of my life. I married my best friend  and I believe with a lot of love & hard work and time we will make it.
When people told us that the first year of marriage was going to hard  I didn't believe them. But it really is, once you say 'I do' that's it. You really take on that other persons problems and family drama, and they take on yours fully. You have to be strong to be someone's husband or wife, and know and understand that sometimes, the bad days will come more than the good ones. Being able to roll with ever punch and fight together to make sure you get to the happier times as a family.
I am 23 and my husband is 26 and so many people told us that we are too young and that it wasn't going to turn out good, but yet day by day we are making it. We are not 100% and as young people we still have a lot.to learn and work on.. But it is so much better doing it together. Working to make our dreams come true and to make moves to better ourselves and also making sure things will be good for our children when the time comes.

 My husband makes sure that I do whatever it is I want to do in life, he never puts my dreams down and would give me the world if he could, and that alone makes the fighting and crying we go though okay. Because I know once it's over we are on the same team.

We are not perfect and somethings will go wrong but I am so happy I married the man I married and one day I pray God will bless me with a son just like his daddy. And two little girls just like me lol

Who Needs A Degree When I'm School'n Life

Here is a great song that I feel goes with this post

Loving You First

The thing about love is, it starts from within yourself. When you love you it is hard for people to put you down, or make you feel bad about yourself no matter what. But when you become your own downer, everything will get to you and make you feel as if you're not good enough. 

 Not loving yourself will play out in every relationship you have in life. I know that in life we all are put though a test and some of us come out of it better and other come out beaten. Well the truth is we all come out better, it's some of us haven't found the way to deal with what was given to us.

 When you are dating someone and you don't know your own worth you can and will fall for anything. Not because you're dumb, but because it feels good to have someone love and care about you better than you love and care about yourself.  Once that happens you don't see the red flags that are being shown to you. Like that man or woman could be a liar or cheating or disrespecting you and all types of ways, all you know or think you know is they love. A person will test you over and over again just to see if they can get away with. And when it is a lack of love for self you will always fail the test.

 You have to learn to not let your past over power you future, learn to forgive the people who have done you wrong, and yes I know that is hard to do, but the people you are mad at are going about life just fine and they are sleeping and loving with no problem and hear you are mad all of the time. Always pushing people away who really love you, and falling into a place that is hard to get up from.

Taking time to look yourself in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you are loved  by God and you are loved by your friends and family members and most of all, telling yourself you are loved by you.

 If you can do that and believe it, things will start to look a little better day by day. And no one will be able to just tell you any old thing, and you will be able to see when something is wrong around you..

Loving you makes for a better life.. Try it


Who Needs A Degree When I'm School'n Life

Your Undatable.

 Some people don't seem to understand, other people are always looking at your every move, and when that happens sometimes it can leave a bad taste in their mouth.
 And for most people in the world they don't care how others feel about them. Well i am here to say... You may want to start caring. The way you carry yourself, can make or break your love life. Don't believe me? Well here are some ways to tell why you can't keep a man/woman, and reasons why you maybe looked at as UNDATEABLE..........


             Number One: You fall in love way too fast.
       
             As most people know the base of a any good relationship can be faith, love, trust, honesty and the list can go on. But all of that start's from a friendship. Now no one is saying that you shouldn't get out here in the world and date, but you also don't want to jump into pan that's on fire. An example of falling in love too fast is, You think every man/woman is THE ONE. What is really going on here is, you see one or two good thing's in every person you date, and you take that and run with it. You may even over look the bad thing's in a person just to keep one good thing. Now before you say well "No one is perfect" Well you're right, us as human beings are not made to be perfect. But you shouldn't sell your soul or settle for love. Another way to tell you are falling in love way to fast is after only a few day's you are ready to tell this person you love them. How do you know you love them?  If you know nothing about them.  Yes i know people say "It was love at first sight" and yes i am sure that happens, but more time than not... it's just a strong like for a person, and it is good to know the differnce between the two.


             Number Two:  You give away to much information (T.M.I)
             
          When you first go out on a date with someone, it's okay to tell them some things about yourself (i.e. favorite color, movie, thing to do) but you don't have to tell that person any family drama or baby daddy/ma'ma b.s. "Why not?" you say. You just trying to keep it real and put it all out there on the table.Well for one, your business isn't their business. This person didn't ask you out to hear why you hate your mom or dad or even to know why you can't stand your babies father or mother. Another reason you don't give it all away on the first date is because you really don't this person well enough to give away all of your information. You just give a person 100% of you trust off the back.
One a fisrt date just keep the conversation light.

            Number Three:  Talking about your ex

       Even if your last relationship was 100% good or 1,000% bad you do not keep bring it up. It's okay the first time you bring it up because you are given this person a backround about your life before them, and that story could be the thing to help them understand you better. But once you put it out on the table LET IT BE.
No one want's to keep hearing about how good your last man/woman was or how bad. They really don't want to be compared them. We have all been hurt but that dones't mean you have to keep telling the new person in your life how hurt you still are. Also you don't want to keep bring up how great the last man/woman was. You never want to make the new person in your life feel like they will never be good enough to be with you, and you also never want them to feel like what they do isn't good enough.

          Number Four:  The way you dress (Yes the way you dress)
  
         Yes people the way you dress! The way you dress says a lot about you and who you are. If you go to school and work a great job and is out of this world smart, but yet you dress as if you just walk out of a strip club from a long night of work or like you sell drugs or just got out of jail you my friend are sending mix messages. You see it all of the time people talking about how badly he/she is dressed and just from that alone people form opinion. Your Mr/Mrs Right could have past you up because of the way you dress and you may have done the same because of the way they where dressed.

          Number Five:  Overly sexual conversation

       We all love sex, some more then others, but some of us can over do it. When you are in the stage of a relationship where your just getting to know each other you don't want to come off as this over the top nymphomaniac. Ladies when you are just getting to know a man, you don't to start the conversation telling him how many people you have had sex with, or the many ways you like to be f**ked. One if he was trying to get to know you without making it about sex... that has just gone  out the window. Two, you may not be as good as you think or say you are in the bedroom. The last thing you want do is talk about a lot of mess about how great you are and then when the time comes you are no good or you play a lot of games to get out of it.. Big no no.
  Men don't tell a women about how you can beat the p**sy up or how big you are or anything like that because sooner ot later she will put you to the test, and if you fail that test you will be talked about. People like to talk about sex but if you over do it you become F**KABLE but........  UNDATEABLE.



Who Needs A Degree When I'm Schoolin Life........